I never said "don't work on yourself." I said it is important to think about this critically. Everything I write is exactly what I mean. I mean no animosity towards the author and don't think at all they had this in mind. This was a "think about it" comment. Not an "this article is trash" comment. Actually, he makes a good point on name pronunciation.
As far as my social skills go, I nearly went to law school for disability law. The only reason I didn’t was because of an emergency situation. I point out that these are autistic traits is because things like this lead to disabled victims being discredited in housing, domestic violence, or medical situations on the extreme end. I saw this happen with family, friends, and nearly myself, but because I was able enough to self-advocate, I ended up being fine. But that was because I had many resources others don’t.
Lack of eye contact can be deemed as dishonest when eye contact is distressing to some with autism. Under stress and in a situation they may need to discuss an assault or discrimination, expecting eye contact can make a huge, traumatic impact on how someone is perceived in a case. ADHDers asking obvious questions can have a similar impact under stress. Fake smiles can be a trauma response. And while this article talks about smaller interactions, what we value and perceive in those situations bleeds into situations with serious consequences. It isn’t about being offended.
Understanding why we act the way we do is important. And working on ourselves is important. But so is fostering understanding in non-disabled people. It starts with looking past the small things and seeing what someone is actually saying. Autism is characterized by difficulty in social empathy, which is in reading faces or situations in a situation. This article is about emotional empathy skills. And I want to promote emotional empathy skills, which is understanding beyond small things.
Not everyone has the means or time to read articles or go to therapy. If it helps you, I’m glad!
I don’t speak for everyone. But it isn’t reasonable to assume everyone has the means or ability to completely adhere to tiny social cues.